home-sick.

yeah, you thought I was referring to the time when I was in Singapore when I chose this title, eh?

I'm kind-of sick of my home in Indonesia after the short few days that I've been here. Kind-of.

Sure, my parents are with me. So are my brothers, nephews, relatives and all.

But I realised that just because I'm younger than my brothers, just because I'm a teenager, my family doesn't really regard any of my opinions, whatever I say, yadee-yadaa. I feel as if this home is just a shelter before I get to my next phase in life - in the UK, alone.

Call me an a.s.s. [anti-social soul], but I really have no-one else to relate to here other than my family, when I am in Indonesia. And they don't give a sh*t about me, nor do they regard me as an actual person.

Then again, I'm not so surprised. My family's somewhat blinded in their own reality-distortion field. Here's an example. They're really racist. My whole family will always despise against the "huanas", aka the darker-skinned Indonesians. They also have something against the "Cina-Benteng", which is supposed to mean a Chinese-skinned person from Benteng. Something like that. Personally, I feel that they keep criticising these groups of people as if they're dogs. I'm really disapproving of this, but what can I do? My parents barely listen to me.

My mom's been giving me problems as well. She thinks I am short [which, she has a point. I'm only 1.76m, and I'm not very tall for my age], and so, she's been gouging food down my throat by always adding / ordering more than I can handle. Feels kind-of like a foei gras. The problem with her is that she doesn't know when is too much. I have breathing difficulty while sleeping almost nightly since I came back, and it's not due to the air here.

Perhaps I became too detached from my family, but if there's anything I learnt about my family after seeing them from a third-person's perspective, it's this:

When people get too rich, they become so full of themselves, they feel like they're the boss.

My word of wisdom to anyone out there: However successful you become in future, remember to always humble yourself.

This saved entry was typed on 29DEC08, 10:52:10pm GMT+0700